Fourteen, really?

I can’t believe that it’s already 14 years ago that you came into this and especially our world and immediately changed everything. Nothing was like it was before: priorities changed, friends changed, daily routine changed. We started looking at the world with new eyes, from other perspectives and with new goals. You made things more beautiful, more difficult, more colorful, more challenging, lauder, more extensive, more lively, more bubbly, more special and you’re still doing it. Thank you!

Now we’re reaching slowly a point we’re you’re starting to figure out your place in this world. And I know that this place pretty soon won’t include us anymore. It’s a shame and a painful procedure for all of us but it’s the circle of life. You’re backpack is already well equipped and it starts to look like that the lessons, discussions and monologues that we’ve repeated uncountable over the past years actually start to pay off. I’m proud of the beautiful and smart young lady in front of me and can’t wait to find out where you’re are going to. It’s still a long hard process with a lot of tough situations, unfair fights and nasty issues. You’re heart will get broken a couple of time, friends will turn their backs on you and you’ll fail and often you won’t reach your goal in the first attempt. Yep, but exactly for that are this hard teenage years for: to make you stronger, to learn you to fight back, to give you the strength to believe in yourself, to stand on your own two feet and to learn us to let you go, to let you make your own experiences, to trust in you.

I love that there are moments, where I still can see you as a little girl. When you get excited over things, when you play again with toys that are long forgotten in a box and especially now on your birthday. Sometimes I’m jealous of the secret giggles and messages you share with your friends, especially when I ask you after it and get “nothing” as an answer and in addition this special ‘Mom you’re so embarrassing” teenager look. But I try to not take it personally because I know I gave my Mom exactly the same look when she asked me questions like this and I think my answers weren’t longer than yours: yes, fine, right, no.

For this reason there won’t be a post about Leonie’s Dubai trip. I’m not a magician and can’t write something usable out of yes, cool, pasta, hard, ice bath, milkshake, fun, sharks. And not to mention the photo and film material… omg I’m getting old but that alone would fill a post and doesn’t belong here.

Aside from your weak communication skills we still have to work on other accomplishments such as siblings love. No matter how much you’re fight with your sister, actually I know that when we’re not around you protect her and you’re there for her. But it’s frustrating though, when you’re fighting with her at home about stupid little things over and over again or when you’re competing with her in activities where everyone knows in advance who’ll win. I have to be aware of again and again that it’s way more important how our kids act when we’re not around or when they aren’t in their own four walls and it makes me proud in spite of all the trouble, that I can rely on you. I read once an article about the different behavior pattern of foster kids and the conclusion out of it was that the more kids feel comfortable and loved at home the more they act demonstrative and loudly. I’m just gonna leave this like that…

As annoying my “Taxi Duties” are, I’m always looking forward to spend some one to one time with you. And thanks to your swimming we have them almost daily. It makes me happy when you’re laying down your phone from time to time and we’re having a good conversation and can discuss about god and the world. It’s interesting to discover how you’re seeing the world and what you’re thinking about the world affairs. And maybe one day I’ll find out that there’s… And I’m glad on the other side that we still have this unique childish instants where we can fool around on the floor or play silly games. I love you sweetheart, you will never know how much. I’m glad that there are still some years in front of us where we’ll be an important part in your life but I already know that this years are going to fly by. Let’s enjoy them to the fullest!!

I hope you’re having a great day at school today and that nobody’s forgetting that it’s your birthday. And I hope that this year brings you more than you could ever wish for!

Happy Birthday baby, we love you to the moon and back!

 

 

 

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